Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Evidence*


(revised August 23, 2007; February 4, 2010)


First, there was London.
If we got married, her name would have been London "Bridge."
I dreamt that she was making fun of me.
She broke up with me the next day.
Then there was Amie.
I was in love with an illusion then...
I feel as though I dodged a bullet now.
Josie was in love with me.
But I was too blinded then to notice.
Because of Amie.
Brooke inspired me to write my first novella...
"Inspires me" has been on my list of
"Qualities I look for in a woman" ever since.
Jo Ann let me kiss her before I got out of the car.
I didn't even have to ask.
Then someone accused me of doing more with her than just kissing.
Nothing happened after that.
I fell pretty hard for the girl from Portage.
But she was waiting for a return missionary.
She just didn't know which one.
I followed Bianca around like a puppy.
It was embarrassing for both of us.
Linda was the first girl that I just outright told.
"I really like you."
She let me down easy.
Joan and I kinda stumbled into our relationship.
It was romance by peer pressure.
After she ended it, she took up drinking.
I made myself miserable for a year.
I fell in love with Tracy even though she was engaged.
She never held it against me.
I thought I finally made a connection with Josie.
I visited her on leave...
She ditched me to go watch a movie she had already seen.
I fell really hard for Audri,
Despite her drama, her lies and manipulation.
You do stupid things when you're in love with the wrong person.
I thought I found my soul mate in Michelle.
She told me what it would take to destroy what we had...
And I did it.
Vanessa refused to "define the relationship."
But we were in love.
She broke up with me...
But we wouldn't stop sleeping together.
Cindy was my on-again-off-again girlfriend.
We decided to stay friends for the sake of her children.
They love me!
I didn't tell Samantha how I felt about her.
Though I think she might have known at some level.
Either way, she was dating my best friend at the time.
Mandy said she pined for me ever since high school.
Then she treated me like I didn't exist.
I told her how it made me feel...
So she started to spread gossip about me.
Natalie wasn't looking for a relationship.
I fell in love with her anyway.
She didn't hold it against me either.
Most people have photographs of themselves with
their former girlfriends, boyfriends or crushes.
When I look back at the girls and women that I really loved,
I realize that I don't have a single photograph of me with any of them.
Ever since then, I've wondered:
If there's no photographic evidence,
then how do I know if any of them were even real?
Thanks to a friend, I know at least one was.


*This poem reminds me of the song "88 Lines Lines About 44 Women" by The Nails.